17.7 C
London
Monday, November 4, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldLondon Mayor: "I Do Not Have Blood On My Hands!"

London Mayor: “I Do Not Have Blood On My Hands!”

MARRAKECH - Morocco - The London Mayor is on holiday again after the brutal murder of another teenager in a park, this time a 17-year-old English girl.

The daily murders in London have not stopped the London Mayor Sadiq Khan going on holiday.

After a 17-year-old English teen girl was brutally murdered in an unwarranted knife attack in a London playground, Sadiq Khan was on a flight to Morocco with his wife for a long break.

All the other murders have been from the black and ethnic community and not considered  important, however, the latest murder of an English girl has really created a state of anger in the country.

The Mayor’s office justified the holiday with a statement delivered after the most recent murder.

“The Mayor is justified to go on a holiday break because the murders will continue irrespective if he is on holiday or not. The Mayor has stated that he needs a long holiday after watching the daily headlines of brutal stabbings of children on the telly. In Morocco, the Mayor will not watch the TV, and instead enjoy the beaches, shopping with his wife and long luncheons.”

Sadiq Khan: ‘I’d do everything in my power to cut stop and search

The Mayor, who has decried any form of action to halt the brutal daily London murders and has actively sought to increase the daily murder rate by halting stop-and-search, is so removed from reality that he does not even acknowledge there is a problem despite the statistics.

“These people were murdered by knives, however they could have also died by being hit by a bus or tram. I am more concerned with police resources being used to police Twitter users who complain about my inability to fight crime, and supporting blow up Trump dolls paraded by communist agitators. It is the fault of everybody else and not my policy of apathy. Now excuse me, I need to get to the hotel and the jacuzzi.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!