17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMiliband to be Prime Minister in Alternate Universe

Miliband to be Prime Minister in Alternate Universe

LONDON - England - Current Opposition Labour party leader, Ed Miliband, has spoken of his aspirations and his strong will to gain the Prime Ministership of Britain.

He may think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but the delusional Miliband is about as exciting as an adenoid in a jar of formaldehyde. 

“I will be prime minister of Great Britain,” Miliband screeches, in his best demented dalek voice, standing in front of his bathroom mirror every morning.

Ed Miliband is not content with the very public show of fratricide he displayed during his rise to Labour’s helm. His ruthless nature shows that he will commit any crime to get to power, and if he ever shoehorns himself into the premiership, like Gordon Brown did, he will be ruthless and just as evil there as well.

“I will come to ultimate power. Every single day you will listen to my bleating voice barking out orders over the tannoys dotted around Britain. I would sell my own mother to get to power and I have shown my ruthless nature before. I mean it, I want us to go back to spend, spend, spend Britain, where Labour ministers spent your money on perks, trips abroad, gluttony, greed and salsa lessons. Next time around we want to take Britain to the Middle Ages of debt. This is Labour’s message to you, the politics of spending taxpayers’ money until it all runs out. Champagne socialism for the select few, and forty years of misery for the rest of you c*nts who have to pay off our spending sprees. Thank you,” Mr Miliband told the BBC last night.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. milipede is a gift to the tories. as long as he stays as labour leader they will never get into power thank god almighty…

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!