Prince Harry’s First Apache Mission Over Pakistan a Success

Speaking from his base, the proud prince Harry said: “I bagged a load of pakis today. My trigger finger just kept pumping those bastards into oblivion. It was fucking beautiful.”

“My step-dad was a Muslim so I just wanted to give something back to the ragheads, like a few 50 caliber bullets, innit,” Harry added.

Prince Harry even took time to go for a round of drinks before his first mission, and was said to have downed a jug of vodka, three pints of gin and sixteen bottles of lager.

“I’ve never seen flying like that. He swooped so low you could see the whites in the eyes of the terrified Pakistanis. It was like shooting fish in a barrel,” Harry’s co-pilot, flight lieutenant, Richard Moorcroft, told the Telegraph.

Prince Harry was meant to be greeted by his father as he returned from his first mission. However, James Hewitt was not available, so Prince Charles was sent instead.