World

20,000 Gamblers Make Migrant Caravan to Las Vegas Casino

CARSON CITY - USA - 20,000 gamblers travelling in a migrant caravan are headed to a Las Vegas casino demanding free drinks, food, gambling and luxury suites.

Marvin Rogers, 63, an avid gambler all his life has today joined a migrant caravan of 20,000 gamblers travelling from Carson City, Nevada to Las Vegas.

The distance of 466 miles has been crushing to many of the gamblers who are grossly obese, and have to have junk food snacks every fifteen minutes.

“We started at 6.30 am yesterday and we only got eight miles into the journey,” Pamela Bourdain, 38, told CBS local news.

The migrant caravan has taken the American press by surprise because it contains only Americans who are going to besiege Caesars Palace and demand luxury rooms for all, free meals, and no limits gambling purses.

“Blackjack and roulette, and a little bit of poker, then a sauna, some ladies of the night, some powder, and a large slap up meal in my room, then more gambling,” another gambler trudging along the highway told news reporters slobbering at the mouth at the very thought of it.

Along the route, many residents cheer the gamblers along, even throwing casino chips at them to spur them on to their destination.

President Trump, a seasoned gambler himself did not condone the migrant caravan of gamblers but made a joke about the convoy: “I do not condone a caravan of people walking on their feet to demand things from other people or nations, but I have ordered Stormy Daniels to be at her post in the casino so when the gamblers get there, she will have to service each and every one of them.”

When contacted, the management of Caesars Palace, were not sure how to counteract the news that the caravan was on its way to their casino.

“You’re saying that 20,000 gamblers in a walking migrant caravan are heading over here? You say they demand free meals, free gambling, free luxury suites and free prostitutes? Anselmo, come here right now. Get them Mexican boys to build a wall around the casino with gun turrets. Nothing is free in Vegas. Nothing!”

Chief spokesman for the gamblers caravan, Dwight Oros, was adamant that the gamblers convoy had every right to do what they are doing.

“We have every right to migrate in our thousands to anywhere we want and demand we get free food, free gambling chips, free luxury suites, and women. This is our right as humans, and nobody can stop us. We want our payday, we’re owed this goddammit!!”

UPDATE

As of 13.00 PDT today, the migrant convoy of gamblers will reach the outskirts of Las Vegas. As more news filters in, we will keep you updated.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

10 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

12 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

Support the Farmers and Their Protest Against Unjust Labour Tax

LONDON - England - Farmers are in Westminster today protesting an unjust Labour tax that…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.