“What you do is, you give us £45,000 for a ride in a space rocket, then we blast you into space,” Mario Jenkem, the Daily Squib’s spokesman has revealed at a press conference in central London.
The Daily Squib’s holding company has teamed up with a Chinese aeronautics firm to create cut price rockets that shoot up into the sky at very high rates of speed.
Space Rocket Specifications:
Number of space tourists: 56
Number of booster rockets: 15
Speed: 13,450 mph
Destination: Who knows?
“If you think about it, you’ll be forking over 120 grand to Virgin Galactic so they can fly you into the stratosphere for a few minutes. F*ck that, we can take you further, for 45k you’ll be halfway to Jupiter. It’s a bloody bargain mate, you won’t get a better deal than that. We’ll soon have you flying in the stars in a jiffy and Bob’s your uncle, innit,” Mr Jenkem said.
The one way trip into deep space is bound to be a surefire hit with D-list celebrities and anyone who’s got a spare £45,000 hanging about.
Daily Squib Space Exploration Reader Competition
For a once in a lifetime chance to win a trip into space, tell us who was the first man in space? a) Bruce Willis b) Buzz Lightyear c) Yuri Gagarin
Send your answers on a postcard to: Space Rocket Comp, PO Box 3423, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, GL45 9ZA
Trick question. None of the above. Everyone knows the first man in space was David Bowie. Send me my one-way ticket to D Cameron,
No 10 Downing St.
Westminster,
London,
England,
Earth (but not for much longer we hope)