Daily Squib Holding Company to Start Galactic Flights £45,000 Per Ticket

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib is to become a major competitor to Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic space flights, the Squib's head of communications and space flight has announced.

The Chinese rockets were constructed with metal and there are minimal plastics on board

“What you do is, you give us £45,000 for a ride in a space rocket, then we blast you into space,” Mario Jenkem, the Daily Squib’s spokesman has revealed at a press conference in central London.

The Daily Squib’s holding company has teamed up with a Chinese aeronautics firm to create cut price rockets that shoot up into the sky at very high rates of speed.

Space Rocket Specifications:

Number of space tourists: 56

Number of booster rockets: 15

Speed: 13,450 mph

Destination: Who knows?

“If you think about it, you’ll be forking over 120 grand to Virgin Galactic so they can fly you into the stratosphere for a few minutes. F*ck that, we can take you further, for 45k you’ll be halfway to Jupiter. It’s a bloody bargain mate, you won’t get a better deal than that. We’ll soon have you flying in the stars in a jiffy and Bob’s your uncle, innit,” Mr Jenkem said.

The one way trip into deep space is bound to be a surefire hit with D-list celebrities and anyone who’s got a spare £45,000 hanging about.

Daily Squib Space Exploration Reader Competition

For a once in a lifetime chance to win a trip into space, tell us who was the first man in space? a) Bruce Willis b) Buzz Lightyear c) Yuri Gagarin

Send your answers on a postcard to: Space Rocket Comp, PO Box 3423, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, GL45 9ZA

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