EU Orders Britain to Pay Up For Euro Failure

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The British people will now have to work for over 345 days in the year to make any money for themselves, after it was revealed that the EU wants to tax Britain further than they are already doing.

“Ve haf vays of making you pay more tax you schweinhunds,” an EU official has told Britain’s chancellor, Osborne, yesterday at an impromptu EU finance meeting in Brussels.

EU budget commissioner Janusz Lewandowski, ordered the British chancellor to commit Britain to pay billions more tax to fund poor Eastern European countries like Greece, Romania, Slovakia and Lithuania who are wallowing in huge amounts of unsustainable debt.

Ripoff Britain

“Because Britain signed up to the EU charter it is obligated to bail out the profligate lazy countries of Europe that wallowed in EU subsidies for ten whole years and cooked the books to gain admission to the single currency. We’re not mentioning any names here, ahem, Greekies. Well, we’ve had ten years of indiscriminate spending, and somebody has to pay back that shit. Step up to the plate, Britain. You idiotic suckers just do everything that you are told to do without question, so we are telling you to pay the f*ck up. I see how every indignity is foisted on your pliant population of sheep, and they lap it up. Please sir, can I have some more, as your masters whip you into submission every day. So Englishers, eat up your cold porridge and your gruel, you owe us more money. Pay up like the good scum that you are,” Mr Lewandowski told the BBC after the meeting at the EU head quarters.

Britain already hands over £16 billion per annum to the EU super state and has been ordered to add to this sum substantially.

“It’s a win win situation for Britain. You get to pay for the poor people to come into your country from Eastern Europe so that they can take your resources, pollute your overcrowded cities, go on unadulturated crime sprees, and clog up your roads with untaxed, unregistered vehicles that are exempt from any British fines or laws. What more do you want?” the EU budget commissioner said whilst grinning like a well fed Cheshire cat.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

9 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.