John Cleese Involved in Rickshaw Accident in Piccadilly Circus

LONDON - England - Monty Python veteran, John Cleese, was recovering today in hospital after being involved in a rickshaw accident in Piccadilly Circus, his agent has disclosed.

Mr Cleese, who was in the UK for a brief tour to pay for another divorce settlement, was involved in a rickshaw pileup on the junction between Regent Street and Piccadilly Circus.

No Christmas in heaven this time

Speaking from London’s Royal Free hospital in Hampstead, Cleese revealed more details about the horrendous crash which also resulted in two rickshaw drivers tragically losing their lives: “I had just left a Polish shop (Sklep) after buying some pickled cabbage, and was about to go to a Somali café next to where Fortnum’s used to be, when there was an almighty crash. At first, I thought to myself that I had bought it, and I would have to make a trip with the grim reaper, when I realised, no, there was no salmon mousse involved at all. These two buggering rickshaw wallahs had gone and crashed into a cow, well soon enough we had about a dozen coolies around us dragging the drivers out of their rickshaws, and they took them to a nearby lamp post near a kebab shop and lynched them there and then. I’m getting too old for this, I need to get back to Beverly Hills straight away.”

London is famous for its traffic jams and frequent multiple vehicle pileups.

“The beauty about the London roads is that no one knows where they’re really going plus you’ll have rickshaws, black cabs, buses, cows, goats, sheep and horse-drawn carriages. Pretty much every form of vehicle or animal on the road, all vying for the same spot. No one cares about traffic lights either, and the basic rule of the road is, whoever has the biggest vehicle or gun has the right of way,” Chandra Harami, a spokesman for London Transport told the BBC.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE, AND CENSORSHIP WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

‘Open Borders’ Green Party Leader Wants More Diversity in Cottaging Industry

HACKNEY - England - The 'open borders' Green Party leader is fed up with the…

1 day ago

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Anthology has sold out!

1 day ago

“Comrades! It’s Working! Heavy Taxation Contracted the Economy by 0.1%”

LONDON - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has praised her heavy taxation policies, which have…

2 days ago

Prepare For War With Russia While EU Funds Russia by Buying Their Oil and Gas

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Mark Rutte, the NATO chief, said today that Europe must prepare…

3 days ago

Stop Crying Brexit Never Happened Anyway

LONDON - England - People are crying that Labour are cosying up to the EU…

3 days ago

Argentina: “We want British weapons so we can invade Falkland Isles again!”

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - Get ready for another Falkland Isles invasion, but this time…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.