World

Almost Unrecognisable Infowars Alex Jones Found Homeless

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Infowars former boss, Alex Jones, has been found on the streets of the Californian city homeless and destitute.

Still holding an empty bottle of Infowars Bone Broth and smoking a used cigarette butt, a California homeless charity has found Alex Jones, once a supreme broadcaster on the internet, now just a homeless bum wandering the alleyways of San Francisco.

The irony is, Alex Jones now gets to live amongst the rich tech crowd, but he’s on the streets and they’re in their multi-million dollar mansions and apartments.

“I get to see Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter every day, and he gave me a dollar. I tries to sell him some Brainforce I cobbled up with some dry leaves, some used needles and a piece of prime San Fran human faeces, but the guy refused me. He just hurried along and threw me a dollar,” Jones shouts loudly at a street sign.

Since being deleted from the internet, Infowars has sadly been shut down, and the whole crew disassembled.

Some made it to California to Skid Row, others tried to stay in Texas but the streets there are not as forgiving as they are in liberal strongholds.

“We got deleted. Traffic stopped. Trump did nothing to help us. End of story. Hey, is that a tuna sandwich? (pointing to a wrapped up object nestled in a bin).”

Now that America has been taken over by the ‘ChiComms’ Mr Jones has sadly been left behind. Unlike a good commie, he didn’t take the lucrative brown envelopes handed over by Chinese state funded media companies to American media conglomerates but tried to go the route of freedom, truth and the American way.

“There is no Paul Revere here on the streets. Sure I have freedom, but no food, no clean water or a place to sleep. This is the price I paid for speaking the truth, and you know what happens when someone speaks the truth in a dishonest corrupt system. You get the boot sooner or later.”

The homeless charity gives Alex Jones a blanket and some clean syringes. It’s going to be another cold night on the unforgiving alleyways of San Francisco. Better shoot up now so you don’t feel the cold so much and dream about the good ol’ days of preaching freedom to the fans now long gone and forgotten.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: homelessus

Recent Posts

The Public Sacrifice of Trump and the Dawn of a New Age of Women

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The dawn of a new age of women calls for…

19 hours ago

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

20 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

3 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.