20 MPH Winds Batter New York City

NEW YORK - USA - Fearful Americans were running in all directions today as it was feared that 20 MPH winds would be travelling through the skyscrapers of the Big Apple.

“I’m scared shitless. They told me to be scared over the news, and all around people are scared so I got scared too,” Earl Huberstank, a janitor from Queens told CBS news.

Escape routes out of the city were all clogged up as the panic set in and more people got the fear.

“They cleaned out all the supermarkets and Home Depot. I read on Drudge that it’s going to be an apocalypse, oh my gosh, I nearly died right there and then. Those 20 MPH might blow over a few blades of grass in the park or something,” Jill Arachno, a New Yorker fleeing the eye of the storm told brave reporters.

UPDATE

Reports are just coming in that the wind was so strong it blew a beer can across the street in the Lower East Side.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE, AND CENSORSHIP WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: drudge

Recent Posts

Far Leftists Celebrate as Their Enabled Terrorists Massacre More Jews

BONDI - Australia - The latest massacre killing 16 Jewish civilians by a terror call,…

13 hours ago

‘Open Borders’ Green Party Leader Wants More Diversity in Cottaging Industry

HACKNEY - England - The 'open borders' Green Party leader is fed up with the…

2 days ago

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Anthology has sold out!

2 days ago

“Comrades! It’s Working! Heavy Taxation Contracted the Economy by 0.1%”

LONDON - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has praised her heavy taxation policies, which have…

3 days ago

Prepare For War With Russia While EU Funds Russia by Buying Their Oil and Gas

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Mark Rutte, the NATO chief, said today that Europe must prepare…

4 days ago

Stop Crying Brexit Never Happened Anyway

LONDON - England - People are crying that Labour are cosying up to the EU…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.