Former CIA Director Brennan Cleared For Clandestine Suicide Mission in Siberia

VIRGINIA - USA - After having his CIA security clearance revoked by Trump, a surprised John Brennan, has been offered a special mission deep in Russian territory.

He may have had his CIA security clearance revoked by President Trump but former Central Intelligence Agency director John Brennan has been authorised for a one way trip to Siberia in Russia.

“I opened the mail this morning informing me that I have been chosen for a clandestine operation into Siberia to check out a heavily armed Russian missile installation; then to steal some heavily guarded secrets, radio them back to Virginia, then if I survive that, to cross the border on foot thousands of miles away chased by hundreds of Russian troops, tanks, dogs, and helicopters,” Brennan revealed to MSNBC.

The one way trip for the former Obama confidante is surely a suicide mission that comes from all the way up top.

According to MSNBC, Brennan has been told he will only be armed with a paperclip to unlock doors and disguised in the attire of a transexual Russian peasant farmer.

Some commentators speculate that this is a cynical ploy to get rid of Brennan who has controversially objected to Trump on social media, even going as far as calling the president’s actions with Putin as ‘treason’.

The Russians are however clueless to the planned clandestine mission and are not awaiting Brennan with machine guns aloft ready to mow him down at first sight.

When asked on Thursday whether he knew about the CIA mission deep into Russian territory, Putin simply smirked, then laughed out aloud.

Should he accept the mission? Well, in his retirement, he’s got nothing better to do, so why not? Might as well go out with a burst of AK 47 gunfire than a Twitter whimper.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

8 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

18 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

20 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.