World

Explorers Journey Through Heatwave Britain

HEMEL HEMPSTEAD - England - Read the perilous story of a journey through the heatwave stricken British countryside.

Our journey starts in Hemel Hempstead, a little town just north of London amidst a massive heatwave.

We have six camels and enough provisions of water for three days. The plan is to journey as far north as we can to try and find an oasis, then encamp there for a few days.

The desert can be unforgivingly hot in the day, but at night the temperature drops which will require us starting a fire or wrapping up in blankets.

We bid the friendly locals goodbye then march on north at dawn as the sun tortuously rises over the eastern sand dunes.

Slowly the haze of heat reaches us and we have to pull over our shemaghs over our heads, we are also dressed in a thoab, a long light clothed black garment. The summer heatwave has required the English to adopt Bedouin clothes to keep cool.

In case there is a sand storm, we are prepared to cover our faces completely.

At noon the temperature hits 130 degrees fahrenheit and we stop for a few minutes to give the camels some water. My camel, George, has started gasping, poor blighter, so a few drops of H2o for him does the trick.

Over the horizon of endless dunes, there must be an oasis somewhere and we are risking our lives to find and map it.

The night comes with eagerness as the heat dissipates, but there are now hidden dangers.

We have heard there are tribes of Chavs or as they call them in the north Neds in this area, and while we are sleeping they can come and rob us of everything including our camels. These tribes wear Burberry robes and ride on specially modified mopeds over the desert, their goal is to steal as much as they can from heatwave stricken locals and travellers.

Luckily we survive the first night unscathed, and we move on slowly ambling over the dunes the next morning.

Then all of a sudden, Billy, my scout shouts back, “Sand storm! Sand storm!”

We quickly rush to the only shelter available, a small group of rocks in the sand.

The story continues in the next episode….

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Tags: uk

Recent Posts

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

7 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

2 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

2 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

3 days ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.