17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldNovichok Poisoning: Skripal Attack Suspects 'Identified on CCTV as Several Russians'

Novichok Poisoning: Skripal Attack Suspects ‘Identified on CCTV as Several Russians’

SALISBURY - England - The Daily Squib can exclusively reveal the names of the Novichok Russian poisoning suspects, still on the loose.

Police have identified on CCTV cameras the suspected perpetrators of the Novichok attack on Russian former spy Sergei Skripal and other poisoning victims.

Officers think several Russians were involved in the attempted murder of the former double agent and daughter Yulia in Salisbury and are looking for more than one suspect.

A source with knowledge of the investigation said: “The team of Russians have been identified and we have released their names after we found out who they were. We urge the public to be very cautious if they meet one of these men, do not accept any drinks from them or perfume bottles.”

The suspects have been named as Vlad Putinski, Valdimir Putana, Vladimirski Putinov, Vladimirov Putinoff, and finally Vladi Puttitov.

These men were last seen walking down Salisbury High Street, close to where the poisonings from nerve agent Novichok was discovered.

Do not approach these Russians if you come into contact with them, either run in the other direction or call the police immediately. They are very dangerous and have copious amounts of Novichok on their person at all times.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!