World

EU Kommandant Martin Selmayr Gloats Over England World Cup Loss

BERLIN - Germany - Martin Selmayr, a high ranking EU Kommandant, mocked England's exit from the World Cup with a Twitter post emphasising the EU's superiority last night.

High ranking EU Kommandant Martin Selmayr giggled with glee at the end of England’s World Cup dreams and posted pro-EU propaganda to celebrate on Twitter, it has been reported.

Kommandant Selmayr, whose grandfather was lieutenant-colonel Josef Selmayr, a convicted war criminal – later pardoned – who served in the Balkans fighting for Hitler in WW2, has no love for the English.

“Every time the Kommandant hears the name of an English person, or England, his face goes sour, I once saw him spit into his wastepaper bin when someone mentioned ‘Windsor Castle’. The Kommandant is very particular about the EU ruining Britain, he always says that even though Germany lost the war in 1945, we won in the end with the EU. He is of course correct 100%, because it is now the UK that takes orders from the EU, and who rules the EU? Yes, you guessed it — Germany!”

Kommandant Selmayr was recently promoted to his post by Jean Claude Juncker, whose father was a prominent Nazi fighting on the Russian front in WW2 as well.

Juncker’s father-in-law, Louis Mathias Frising — dad to Juncker’s wife of 35 years Christiane — was a teacher in Ettelbruck, Luxembourg, when the Germans invaded in 1940.

Frising volunteered to be a Nazi propaganda chief while banning spoken French in favour of German.

He was also responsible for enforcing a law which stripped Jews of their rights and professions — the first stage of the Holocaust.

“So, as you can see you Englischer swine, the hierarchy of the EU is currently run by people who have a Nazi lineage. It is quite fitting, is it not?” a former EU Commission employee revealed.

If Hitler were alive today, he would be proud of the EU.

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