17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMPs Could Be Hanged For Expenses Fraud

MPs Could Be Hanged For Expenses Fraud

LONDON - England - Soon there could be a joyful sight over the neo-Gothic edifice of the Houses of Parliament with the swinging lifeless bodies of MPs swaying in the breeze.

ai

Capital punishment has been voted back into law by Parliament after an e-petitions scheme attracted more than 800,000 signatures clamouring for the death penalty to be re-introduced.

MPs were forced to debate the issue last week, and it was duly agreed that capital punishment should be part of British law once again.

“Shame we’re not going to bring back quartering as well, I can think of a few people who would deserve that,” Conservative MP, James Dawlish, told the BBC.

Under the new rules, even MPs could fall foul of the capital punishment laws and be prosecuted for expense fiddling.

“Expense fiddling by MPs is a criminal act and should be punished by death. They are stealing taxpayers money, which is no better than robbing a High Street bank. Under the new laws, MPs would be hanged in Parliament Square, then their hanged bodies would be left swinging on the traffic island to rot and be eaten by the ravens as a lesson to the other MPs who think that stealing is a good idea. I think they might learn a lesson or two after that,” Cyrus Baldinger, a political commentator from the Daily Mail reported in his column.

There are fears, however, that the whole of Westminster could resemble a mass gallows because of the sheer number of MPs being hanged, causing traffic chaos with tourists and grim onlookers gathering at all times of the day and night. Health and Safety officers have also said that the smell of rotting MPs swinging on the ropes would be awful, attracting flies and maggots that could be a health hazard to the public.

The last hangings in Britain occurred on 13 August 1964, Peter Anthony Allen at Liverpool and Gwynne Owen Evans at Manchester Prisons.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!