World

Don’t Drop the Soap – Sarkozy in Le Prison

LE BASTILLE - France - Former French president, Nicolas Sarkozy has been put in prison and fears for the integrity of his booty.

Ooh la la! Mon dieu! Is it true, oui, c’est vrai! Nicolas Sarkozy, the former French president, has been put behind bars in prison.

Sarkozy is in custody as part of an investigation that he received millions of euros in illegal financing from the regime of the late Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi, according to a judicial source.

“I told him, he needs to clean the money. Sarko, would not listen to me and deposited the millions in a French bank. He thought he was untouchable because he was part of the French elite,” a former associate revealed.

Though an investigation has been underway since 2013, the case gained traction some three years later when French-Lebanese businessman Ziad Takieddine told the online investigative site, Mediapart, that he delivered suitcases from Libya containing 5 million euros in cash to Sarkozy and his former chief of staff Claude Gueant.

Investigators are examining claims that Gadhafi’s regime secretly gave Sarkozy 50 million euros overall for the 2007 campaign. Such a sum would be more than double the legal campaign funding limit at the time of 21 million euros.

In addition, the alleged payments would violate French rules against foreign financing and declaring the source of campaign funds.

French prisons are full to the brim of young African men who have not had a piece of ass for a long time, so Sarkozy will be fresh white meat thrown to the dogs.

“He better not pick up the soap in the showers,” a former inmate revealed.

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