17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldChinese Deny They Were Responsible for Tsunami

Chinese Deny They Were Responsible for Tsunami

SHANGHAI - China - The Chinese Foreign Affairs minister, Ziang Long, today denied that thousands of swimmers on their beach were responsible for the tragic tsunami wave that hit Japan last week.

ai

“We had 950,000 swimmers on this stretch of coast last week and they all jumped into the water at the same time. I do not think, however, that this could have caused the earthquake resulting in a tsunami,” Mr Long remarked whilst being interviewed on state television.

The population of China is so huge that when swimmers go to the beaches, seismologists record tremors and if the activity continues along fault lines, there can be serious repercussions resulting in massive earthquakes and tsunamis.

“It’s not only the risk of creating earthquakes and tsunamis that people should be scared of, what about when thousands of Chinese bathers all take a wee in the water at the same time? We’ve actually tracked the yellow slick by satellite reaching as far as California and Hawaii,” Roger Bannister, a seismologist and scientist from the University of California told CNN.


When the Chinese bathers all jumped into the water at the same time and started to splash wildly last week, there were reports of 80 foot waves reaching the coast of Africa and India as well as tsunamis in Japan and Korea.

“It’s those darn Chinese again. They must have been all going for a swim. Can you imagine when they all want to own a car as well? There’ll be so much lead and pollution in the world’s atmosphere that Japan’s radiation will be a breath of f*cking fresh air,” a South Korean politician, Kinji Asso, told South Korean news agency, Yonhap.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner

3 COMMENTS

  1. I got a job as a bounty hunter in China.

    Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!