17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIs the Oil Still Safe?

Is the Oil Still Safe?

BENGHAZI - Libya - Western leaders were in panic mode last night after news filtered through that one of the countries oil refineries had been torched by rebels.

“We fear for the oil. What if it gets torched? That beautiful black gold will be no more. This is why we’re prepared for military action right fuckin’ now,” the British PM David Cameron’s energy spokesman, Giles Fitzroy disclosed to the Daily Telegraph.

It’s not just the Brits who are smarting at the possible loss of oil, so are the Americans.

When Gaddafi starts torching his oil fields, then people are really going to wake up.

Barack Obama said on Sunday evening: “If we don’t invade those Libyans soon how the hell am I gonna take all those expensive Air Force One day trips for no particular reason? Oh my god, I gotta have my Air Force One trips, Michelle needs ’em too!”

Rescue Mission

There was no oil in Egypt or Tunisia so they were not up for military intervention, but Libya is a different matter.

“We’re prepared to defend the oil reserves that belong to us in that country. Maybe they have WMD? Gaddafi could launch an attack on the West in forty five minutes if we don’t attack soon, like right now. Send in the goddamn SAS, Marines, Seals and Halliburton!” John Schecter, a Pentagon official disclosed.

The US has already mobilised three navy destroyers off the Libyan coast, and even Britain, who doesn’t have much of a navy left after massive budget cuts, have deployed a small frigate with a few guns on it.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!