MP Admits Not Fiddling Expenses

LONDON - England - Herman Phuckah today became the first sitting MP to admit to not committing expenses fraud when he admitted refusing to claim more than £65,000.

The member for Trumpingfield Central was due to stand trial at Southwark Crown Court in London for admitting to the serious allegation of not stealing money while being a member of parliament.

“This is an utter disgrace to the profession of a politician in this country. We can’t have such nonsense going on from a member of parliament. It is giving us a bad name,” James Fetherington-Smythe, MP for Dagenham East told a parliamentary hearing yesterday.

The MP allegedly refused to accept a £65,000 bribe and even refused to steal £14,000 for his third property’s mortgage.

Mr Phuckah has since been ostracised by all politicians within Westminster and could even face a lengthy jail sentence if charged.

“He walked into the bar at Westminster last week and no one had the balls to look him in the eye. He just sat there at the bar, waited for a drink that never turned up, then walked out,” a Westminster insider recalled.

The MP for Trumpingfield South will be sentenced later on today.

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