How to Walk On the Pavement in Europe

BARCELONA - Spain - Nowhere is safe any more thanks to the uncaring EU Commission and their ridiculous Schengen zone.

You could be walking along on any street in Europe on the ‘safe’ pavement, when suddenly an object travelling at 40 or 50 miles per hour hits you. It could be a van, truck, car or motorcycle.

How could this happen, the pavement is meant to be a safe place for pedestrians? Not any more. Not one single city in Europe today is safe from the terror of knowing that at any moment a van could suddenly appear over the horizon and mow you down like a pin in a bowling alley.

Suddenly your head swivels around, then crack, the van makes contact, your internal organs eviscerated, maybe your legs smashed beyond repair, or your brains thrown unceremoniously onto the warm pavement, the sun glistening with curiosity at their resting place.

The immediate authorities and emergency services cannot do anything, they only appear after the event has happened. The EU refuses to close the Schengen zone, so nothing will be done there either.

What is your course of action? How do you survive in a place where there is no safety, even on the sacrosanct pavement?

Here are some tips on surviving in Europe where you as a civilian are not safe any more.

  1. If you wish to walk on any pavement, do not wear headphones, as this will impede your hearing and by the time you hear the truck careening towards you it will be too late.
  2. Never walk in the middle of a pavement. Always walk away from the road on the opposite edge.
  3. Always look behind you when walking every few seconds. This could save your life.
  4. Never look at your mobile phone when walking. Distractions like this could mean whether you live or die.
  5. Never push a pram on a pavement. This is common sense, because why would you want to put your children in danger?
  6. If a pavement terrorist attack is occurring a few feet away from you, do not just stand there, get away, run like fuck, get out of the way.
  7. Never walk on pavements. Instead drive on the road or stay at home.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

33 mins ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

11 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

13 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.