How to Walk On the Pavement in Europe

BARCELONA - Spain - Nowhere is safe any more thanks to the uncaring EU Commission and their ridiculous Schengen zone.

You could be walking along on any street in Europe on the ‘safe’ pavement, when suddenly an object travelling at 40 or 50 miles per hour hits you. It could be a van, truck, car or motorcycle.

How could this happen, the pavement is meant to be a safe place for pedestrians? Not any more. Not one single city in Europe today is safe from the terror of knowing that at any moment a van could suddenly appear over the horizon and mow you down like a pin in a bowling alley.

Suddenly your head swivels around, then crack, the van makes contact, your internal organs eviscerated, maybe your legs smashed beyond repair, or your brains thrown unceremoniously onto the warm pavement, the sun glistening with curiosity at their resting place.

The immediate authorities and emergency services cannot do anything, they only appear after the event has happened. The EU refuses to close the Schengen zone, so nothing will be done there either.

What is your course of action? How do you survive in a place where there is no safety, even on the sacrosanct pavement?

Here are some tips on surviving in Europe where you as a civilian are not safe any more.

  1. If you wish to walk on any pavement, do not wear headphones, as this will impede your hearing and by the time you hear the truck careening towards you it will be too late.
  2. Never walk in the middle of a pavement. Always walk away from the road on the opposite edge.
  3. Always look behind you when walking every few seconds. This could save your life.
  4. Never look at your mobile phone when walking. Distractions like this could mean whether you live or die.
  5. Never push a pram on a pavement. This is common sense, because why would you want to put your children in danger?
  6. If a pavement terrorist attack is occurring a few feet away from you, do not just stand there, get away, run like fuck, get out of the way.
  7. Never walk on pavements. Instead drive on the road or stay at home.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

10 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.