Retaliation: Google Could Show Juncker’s Search History

BRUSSELS - Belgium - According to reports in Brussels, Jean Claude Juncker is in deep panic mode, as American conglomerate Google could display his search and browsing history as a punishment for fining the vast company for manipulating search results to favour their own products.

Laissez-le sortir..

“This works both ways. The EU wants to fine us for manipulating search results. Hey its our search, we have no constraints to what we can and cannot do. Hmm, let me see here, Jean Claude Juncker on the 22nd May 2017 at 03.42 Brussels time was searching for something to do with donkeys, we will not give the full details but it involves the animal and other players. Also, during an important meeting at the Commission Juncker’s mobile address was surfing some very colourful websites that would make even Guy Verhofstadt tremble. This is just a taster. More to come. You fine us, we give you back some Google medicine,” a Google spokesman told the EU Commission on Thursday.

Today at an EU meeting on the implications of the fine, Mr. Juncker was visibly upset, and projectile vomited a copious amount of cognac, an entrée of foie gras poché au vin rouge épicé avec le plat du jour. Dos de cabillaud, rôti caviar de courgettes, huile vierge herbacée, and complimented with an exquisite dessert of chocolat mousse caramel, fève de tonka et feuillantine.

Juncker, already under pressure from Brexit and the strains of the Italian and Greek economy, does not need this extra magnifying glass insight into his private penchants.

“We have EU army now. Does the Google know of this? They pay, and shut up. No more threats. We are dangerous right now, even more than before in 1935. Can they not see this, instead they make me upset. Look I vomit. Allez, we have to go back to the restaurant, my stomach is grumbling again,” the president gesticulated before being rushed away through corridors and a waiting luxury car.