17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldQueen Celebrates Royal Income Boost by Flying Her Favourite Spitfire Around Balmoral

Queen Celebrates Royal Income Boost by Flying Her Favourite Spitfire Around Balmoral

BALMORAL - Scotland - With all this ongoing Brexit shenanigans, Harry's mental issues and Philip's health, the Queen has some welcome news.

ai

 

The Crown Estate made a whopping £328.8m profit last year, mainly due to those ‘ghastly’ wind farms the royals invested in.

To celebrate, the Queen took to her personal hangar, and plopped herself into her favourite Supermarine Spitfire, which she lovingly calls ‘Smithy’.

Squadron Commander, Benson Molyneux, trained Her Majesty only last year and was astonished at her natural flying skills.

“She took to the throttle like a baby does a bottle. Before we embarked on the first flight, the Queen asked if there were any Jerries we could shoot down? With a hearty laugh, I exclaimed that we could always make a sortie to Berlin or perhaps Brussels.”

Merlin

The Queen now flies her Spitfire whenever she feels like it, and has even taken her favourite Corgi, Willow, up into the clouds on occasion.

“One likes the feel of the Spitfire, especially when one is conducting a half roll loop at 300mph at 15,000 feet. Yes, one has stalled a few times, that was during my third flight, one was rather careless with one’s elevators which are very sensitive and one brought up the control column too rapidly during a loop. The aeroplane shuddered and one heard this clitter clatter sound much like Philip’s hip joints, bringing the left wing suddenly downward. One managed to recover relatively quickly by cutting the throttle, applying opposite rudder to the spin, moving the stick forward gently until the spinning stopped, then gently applying one’s throttle to level the flight. One was very cool and measured at that point, but one nearly made a poopy in one’s panty.”

image courtesy: ninj b3ta

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!