Gazza Visits Flood Hit Pakistan

SINDH - Pakistan - Ex-champion footballer Paul Gascoigne has flown out to the devastated areas of Pakistan to bring much needed relief to the thousands of Pakistanis stranded by rising flood waters.

The former soccer legend turned up in a cab at Karachi train station last week clutching a loaf of ciabatta bread, two fishing rods, a dressing gown, lager, a rubber dinghy, some frozen pizzas and chicken pieces for the flood-hit people of Pakistan.

He appeared drunk as he described how he wanted to help the people of Pakistan after seeing footage on Sky news.

Gazza, 43, said: “I can teach the Pakistanis how to fish. I just want to give them some therapy because they’ve been through some really hard times, like, and say ‘Come on Pakistan, it’s Gazza’. I guarantee I can save them.”

Gascoigne visited a flood relief camp in Sindh province on Thursday before being stretchered away drunk out of his f*cking mind.

His spokesman, Jimmy Fivebellies, said he was bringing special gifts all the way from Newcastle, England, for the Pakistani people to enjoy.

“He heard that the Pakistani people need some help urgently during these hard times, like, so he’s gone and brought some stuff for them, like,” Fivebellies stated.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

5 hours ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

21 hours ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

22 hours ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

2 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

3 days ago

Sleazy Labour Liars Prove Election Promises Do Not Mean Anything in UK

LONDON - England - The sleazy Labour liars who said anything to get elected have…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.