Germany Needs to Give Daily Squib Money Too

BERLIN - Germany - The diligent German taxpayers should give billions of euros to the Daily Squib newspaper as well as all the poor European countries.

“If they can bail out whole countries which have gone on massive spending sprees, why not the Daily Squib? In fact we don’t have two pennies to rub together in this bloomin’ office. C’mon Germany lend us a few quid. We promise we won’t mention the war,” sub sub editor-in-chief, of the Squib, Alan Scheisse told Bild news today.

Already, Chancellor Angela Merkel spoke to the Squib’s finance office pledging a few billion euros but with some of the writers lifestyles this may not be enough.

“We’re f*cking lazy. We might get in to work at about 4pm, play some snooker, watch a bit of telly, have a butchers on the Wii for a bit, then some of us might think about writing something down on a used napkin or we might just go home. I think we’ll just ask Germany to get their cheque book out and give us a big dollop of wonga, it beats f*cking working for a living,” one of our staff writers, Billy Cicero revealed.

The German leader on Monday addressed the German nation about the sense of urgency in giving the Daily Squib billions of euros: “My fellow Germans, we need to give the Daily Squib newspaper staff billions of euros in cash. I want you all to work until you are 120 years old and will make Sunday another weekday plus we might have to increase taxes again huh. Hope you all don’t mind?”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: daily squib

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

14 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.