World

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Refused Entry into First Class Lounge in Heaven

LONDON - England - The tragic loss of socialite celebrity Tara Palmer-Tomkinson brings a tear to the meandering hills of Peru from which she had partaken with so much gusto.

 

Her ‘it-girl’ status was her own undoing, here was this privileged person snorting £400 worth of cocaine up her nostrils daily, indulging in crack and meth, until her septum nasi disappeared, seared by years of ravage to the white stuff. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson fucked like a rabbit and had an insatiable nymphomaniac appetite for debauchery, for this alone she should be inducted into the halls of the ever grinding loins, for it is to the service of Bacchus that she will be remembered.

Obviously Royal connections open doors, and many were opened for this hip gyrating mistress of carnal purgatory, as her chaotic membrane befuddled and torn skimmed through the societal walls much like excrement is pumped through bubbling sewer pipes furnished with well-paid ghost writers.

Hell o

The higher echelons of English society can be as cruel as the lower, and here was this wild eyed maiden on cocaine looking for approval but would never find it. Such is the standoffish harsh nature of the English aristocratic class that parental affection is rarely shown to children leaving them in perpetual limbo for the rest of their sorry loveless lives. Tara was a lost child only looking for some kind of love which she never was to find, looked down upon by the higher ranks as an eccentric curiosity and laughed at by the grimy lower half.

Society should embrace the eccentrics but sadly these days they are scorned more than anything else. The spirit of Dionysian plenty can only follow this misunderstood creature to the depths of depravity and absolution.

And up upon yonder, Tara whooshes into the eternal universal maelstrom, perhaps to be denied entry into the VIP lounge will be the final insult for this tempestuous everlasting misfit.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

7 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

2 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

2 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

3 days ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.