World

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Refused Entry into First Class Lounge in Heaven

LONDON - England - The tragic loss of socialite celebrity Tara Palmer-Tomkinson brings a tear to the meandering hills of Peru from which she had partaken with so much gusto.

 

Her ‘it-girl’ status was her own undoing, here was this privileged person snorting £400 worth of cocaine up her nostrils daily, indulging in crack and meth, until her septum nasi disappeared, seared by years of ravage to the white stuff. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson fucked like a rabbit and had an insatiable nymphomaniac appetite for debauchery, for this alone she should be inducted into the halls of the ever grinding loins, for it is to the service of Bacchus that she will be remembered.

Obviously Royal connections open doors, and many were opened for this hip gyrating mistress of carnal purgatory, as her chaotic membrane befuddled and torn skimmed through the societal walls much like excrement is pumped through bubbling sewer pipes furnished with well-paid ghost writers.

Hell o

The higher echelons of English society can be as cruel as the lower, and here was this wild eyed maiden on cocaine looking for approval but would never find it. Such is the standoffish harsh nature of the English aristocratic class that parental affection is rarely shown to children leaving them in perpetual limbo for the rest of their sorry loveless lives. Tara was a lost child only looking for some kind of love which she never was to find, looked down upon by the higher ranks as an eccentric curiosity and laughed at by the grimy lower half.

Society should embrace the eccentrics but sadly these days they are scorned more than anything else. The spirit of Dionysian plenty can only follow this misunderstood creature to the depths of depravity and absolution.

And up upon yonder, Tara whooshes into the eternal universal maelstrom, perhaps to be denied entry into the VIP lounge will be the final insult for this tempestuous everlasting misfit.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

10 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

12 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

Support the Farmers and Their Protest Against Unjust Labour Tax

LONDON - England - Farmers are in Westminster today protesting an unjust Labour tax that…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.