World

London Underground: “What We’re Doing On Our Tube Strike”

LONDON - England - It's another lovely Monday morning and what better time then to have a tube strike bringing chaos and misery to many London commuters.

 

We asked some of the staff what they’re doing on their day off.

Jim, 35, is a train driver, and is paid £56,000 per year not including bonuses. His day off may make some of you commuters stuck in a bus, or under someone’s smelly armpit a bit angry.

“On my day off striking, I got up at midday, switched on the telly and saw the crowds of commuters packed into buses and waiting on the streets. It gave me a good tingling feeling down my spine as I giggled like a hyena at the sight. It was time for brekkie, so I went down the caff for a full English and about a dozen cuppas. Looking at my watch, it was time for a liquid lunch, so me and the boys went to our regular, and the drinks were on me. Staggering back home drunk out of my twat, time for supper. The missus has done up a nice roast and we tuck into that. After our meal, wifey says she’s so proud of me having a strike so she does the Monday strike special right under the table, licking her lips, under the table cloth she goes. After that bit of dessert, I remember there’s a good flick on at our local cinema. Take the wifey there, and once the film ends, it’s down to the curry house for a slap up meal. All in all a great day, and I didn’t think about the misery of the London commuters once. It’s great having a socialist London mayor again, innit.”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

7 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

17 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

19 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.