World

8-Year-Old Unaccompanied Child Calais Migrant Says Thank You For Toys

DOVER - England - Children's toys were given to the unusually large 'children' who were granted leave to come to Britain from the Calais jungle camp yesterday.

 

One young child, speaking with a low voice said he was eight years old and had travelled all the way from Afghanistan to come to Britain so he could receive benefits, a flat and ‘plenty of English pussy’.

“I am only eight years old. Thank you for the toys. I play with them when I go primary school with other children of my age. I will drive to school in my BMW and leave one of my wife at home to cook for my three children, who will come later, thank you socialist peoples you are very generous.”

Amongst the 14 unaccompanied ‘children’ many over six feet tall, and with low baritone voices, was little Mohamed Abdullah, 10, from Peshawar, Pakistan.

“I am only ten years old. I need come Britain because you give free food, free money and free English women. I hear they do anything for you, just ask, and they do. Ooph, I’ve got blue balls. Haven’t had a shag in weeks. First thing I’ll be doing after primary school is visiting the local massage parlour for a good seeing to all paid for by the British taxpayer. I’ve also heard my primary school’s English teacher is a real looker, bet she’s never seen a ten year old like me before. Thank you for the toys, you stupid mugs, I’ll sell it on Ebay to a real child for profit. What a bunch of fuckin’ mugs, innit.”

Brexit any one?

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

10 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.