17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorld8-Year-Old Unaccompanied Child Calais Migrant Says Thank You For Toys

8-Year-Old Unaccompanied Child Calais Migrant Says Thank You For Toys

DOVER - England - Children's toys were given to the unusually large 'children' who were granted leave to come to Britain from the Calais jungle camp yesterday.

 

One young child, speaking with a low voice said he was eight years old and had travelled all the way from Afghanistan to come to Britain so he could receive benefits, a flat and ‘plenty of English pussy’.

“I am only eight years old. Thank you for the toys. I play with them when I go primary school with other children of my age. I will drive to school in my BMW and leave one of my wife at home to cook for my three children, who will come later, thank you socialist peoples you are very generous.”

Amongst the 14 unaccompanied ‘children’ many over six feet tall, and with low baritone voices, was little Mohamed Abdullah, 10, from Peshawar, Pakistan.

“I am only ten years old. I need come Britain because you give free food, free money and free English women. I hear they do anything for you, just ask, and they do. Ooph, I’ve got blue balls. Haven’t had a shag in weeks. First thing I’ll be doing after primary school is visiting the local massage parlour for a good seeing to all paid for by the British taxpayer. I’ve also heard my primary school’s English teacher is a real looker, bet she’s never seen a ten year old like me before. Thank you for the toys, you stupid mugs, I’ll sell it on Ebay to a real child for profit. What a bunch of fuckin’ mugs, innit.”

Brexit any one?

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!