World

After the Coup Attempt Erdogan Reshuffles Turkish Government

ANKARA - Istanbul - Recep Tayyip Erdogan, after the coup attempt, has reshuffled his parliament and government to best ensure his reign for a very, very long time.

 

 

 

Incoming Finance Minister, Erdo Grab will ensure there will be no more corruption in the Turkish government by ensuring all tax receipts go to Erdogan’s Swiss bank account in Lake Lugano.

Army Minister, Erdo Gunner, will ensure any further coup attempt by secularists will be met with extreme prejudice and death sentences for everyone. No change.

Transport Minister, Erdo Go, wants to get Turkey moving once again, and is even planning a special lane on all highways in Turkey for the Erdogans. If anyone else is caught in the lane, they will be shot on sight.

Pensions Minister, Erdo Gran, will ensure that all old people in Turkey relinquish their pensions to the Erdogan clan and are given swift burials if they don’t agree.

Ultilities Minister, Erdo Gasket, will ensure that Turkey’s plumbing system functions well, and all water supplies lead to Erdogan’s palaces where the swimming pool can be topped up at all times.

Media Minister, Erdo Grind, will ensure that all news and media in Turkey praises the president at all times without any sort of dissension or free speech.

Minister of Happiness, Erdo Grim, will ensure that all Turks in the country are always happy to be ruled in an undemocratic dictatorship stasi Big Brother fuck hole or they will be shot.

etc..etc..

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

7 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

17 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

19 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.