George W Bush Lost on Runaway Homemade Balloon

DENVER - Colorado - Ex-president, George W Bush led the US authorities on a wild chase yesterday when it was claimed he was inside a runaway hot air balloon but was still unaccounted for after it landed safely in a corn field.

A massive search was launched after George W Bush’s friend Rummy said
he saw the
sixty three-year-old ex-president climbing into a box beneath the flying saucer-shaped craft.

“Dubya had invited us and some friends over for a cookout and we got ourselves a hot air balloon and planned on putting Al Gore in the helium powered craft and sending it up to 7,000 ft for some fun when things went horribly wrong. George was checking the tether and readying the craft when it suddenly lifted off and the look of sheer horror and terror on his dumb face made us all drop our charred meat and laugh our goddamn asses off. You should have seen the look on his face. I put ten bucks down that the alcoholic shit his diaper right there and then,” Donald Rumsfeld told CNN.

Dick Cheney, who was attending the barbecue, even rushed off to his car to fetch his shotgun but by the time he returned the balloon was at 5,000 feet and travelling at 60 mph.

Balloon Boy

The airforce scrambled some jets and some helicopters but all the world could do is watch the spectacle.

Millions of viewers around the world then watched the drama unfold as the
spinning craft sailed through the sky followed by camera crews in
helicopters.

The helium powered balloon finally came down in Colarado nearly 1000
miles away from Texas after it had been up in the air for almost six hours.

But there was no sign of Dubya. Then, as the world held its breath, police
made a dramatic announcement.

“Ladies and gentleman, we do not know where George W Bush has disappeared to. We have eyewitnesses who say he went into the balloon’s compartment but there was no sign of the little chimp when the craft landed. We can only assume the worst and extend our condolences to his family,” Denver state police trooper, Roger McAuliff told Fox News.

Mr Bush’s distraught wife, Laura, had this to say about the whole sorry incident: “George always wanted to go up into space. I just spoke to some people at NASA and they say they detected something in the stratosphere a few hours ago. Maybe Gump must have jumped from that height or something. I can’t believe this is happening!”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: bush

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

15 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.