17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGordon Brown: More Fuel Tax Hikes May be Needed

Gordon Brown: More Fuel Tax Hikes May be Needed

SOUTHMOULD - England - Supreme unelected leader of the British people, Gordon Brown is planning further petrol tax hikes to try and stem the massive black hole in Britain's failing economy.

ai

Mr Brown who has been enjoying his holiday in the grey damp miserable seaside town of Southmould, has been busy twittering about the merits of the NHS of late, even though he has himself received extensive treatment privately.

“The PM is fiercely against any form of private healthcare but because of his high rank in the Labour government he has seen fit to receive treatment worth thousands of pounds from Mervyn Druian of the London Cosmetic Dentristry Centre. The rest of the British people have to make do with rotting teeth because there are no NHS dentists or treatment, but for our unelected leader there are obvious exceptions to the rule,” one of Number 10’s spokesman told Reuters.

The unelected PM has also ordered Alistair Darling to increase fuel tax from it’s already inflated levels to even higher heights.

“I have ordered Alistair Darling to increase fuel tax again because we must squeeze every drop out of the proles. So, from now on, for every pound spent at the pumps you will be paying more than 85 pence in fuel tax to the government. It is your duty as citizens of Britain to be milked even more. Please keep filling your cars further because every time you do that, you are helping MPs expense accounts,” the unelected prime minister added.

Since Labour came into power in 1997 the government’s fuel tax increases have escalated by more than 170%.

“If it happened anywhere else in the world there would be riots in the streets. Because it happens in the UK where the people are so pliant and cowardly, nothing happens. They are daily bent over and fucked by the Labour government and bankers and they just take it all without question. We’re so glad we don’t live in the UK anymore,” a British expat in America told the BBC.

Meanwhile, crude oil prices are set to rise up to $165 per barrel which will mean that with the added fuel tax hikes from the government, the general population is set to be paying over £1.40 a litre for their petrol by Christmas.

Looks like the unelected prime minister is certainly up for giving everyone an early Christmas present or two.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!