17.7 C
London
Monday, December 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldObama Affecting Weather Claim White House Aides

Obama Affecting Weather Claim White House Aides

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Hussein Obama has been found to be able to control the weather wherever he goes claim Pentagon and White House officials.

ai

Yesterday in the White House’s rose garden, Obama held a conference on climate change in which he outlined how the government was going to monetarily charge people for using the earth’s weather. During his masterfully orated speech, he looked up at the heavens and pointed at some clouds, and to the astonishment of the crowd and assembled dignitaries, the clouds parted as soon as Obama pointed at them bringing forth a ray of light.

“Obama has got powers which we have never witnessed in a president or anyone for that matter. Wherever he goes there seems to be a ray of light that comes through even the thickest of clouds. He also has special qualities with animals. Last week he was at an animal sanctuary in Washington visiting with his children and as soon as he walked within a few feet of the animals they started making noises as if they were excited, jumping up and down and cooing,” a baffled senior aide to the White House’s staff told CBS news.

Research scientists at one of America’s most respected scientific research labs, Los Alamos, have been contacted to investigate the Obama phenomenon and are said to be baffled at the claims of Obama’s supernatural powers.

There have also been witnesses to Obama’s miracle qualities with water, a White House function guest recalls: “We were at a function for the President of Lithuania two weeks ago when Obama touched a jug of water accidentally. To the guests surprise, the water was then transformed to prime Matryoshkina vodka. The guests were soon whooping it up, some even jumping up to dance on the tables and singing loudly.”

Pity the new president cannot make the USA’s $12 Trillion deficit disappear.

Related Articles:

Obama Walks on White House Garden Pond

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!