BREAKING: Celebrity Cook Jamie Oliver Electrocuted

LONDON - England - Celebrity mockney cook, Jamie Oliver has been electrocuted. The news of his passing was greeted favourably by the general public.

Celebrity cook, Jamie Oliver has been tragically electrocuted to death in a terrible accident.

“We told him not to play with the wire,” a worker for Southern Electric told the BBC.

According to reports, the celebrity cook, who makes a lot of money by selling people products with high levels of sugar in them, was celebrating some news about more taxation on the public when disaster struck.

One witness described the horrific incident with quite a lot of detail: “Well, I was walking the dog, and I saw a man jumping about. It looked like that fat-tongued cretin Jamie Oliver who everyone hates. Anyway, that’s when the smell of burning flesh hit my nostrils, I thought wow that’s rather unpleasant. He had smoke and fire coming from every orifice, so I continued walking the dog. Little blighter doesn’t like getting upset. I left Jamie to it, besides, he likes a barbecue in his cookery show.”

Here’s to more tax on all food, thanks to Jamie Oliver, a brown-nosing bottom sniffer if there ever was one.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

6 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

7 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

17 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.