17.7 C
London
Tuesday, November 5, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPlague of Locusts Will Descend on Britain After Brexit Say EU Leaders

Plague of Locusts Will Descend on Britain After Brexit Say EU Leaders

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Britain would become a wasteland of locusts with no grass or shrubs, EU leaders have revealed if the British people choose to leave with a Brexit.

“Consider this mein Britisher friends. If you leaffe you vill see locusts as big as birds flying in their millions over your crops and your stupid little countryside,” Gunther Clossfein, an unelected EU official revealed smiling awkwardly.

The Romanian Foreign Minister, Laszlo Pikpokt, also assured destruction on Britain if it dared stop the benefits bonanza his countrymen are benefiting from so greatly.

“The locusts will be more numerous than Romanians streaming across your borders daily. You will never see a blade of grass ever again if you do Brexit and stop the gravy train. Big Issue! Big Issue!”

The French, however were rather sanguine about all the threats but still chose to add one any way.

“Merde. Vous rosbifs do not get it do you? If you vote Brexit half of France rich people will move to Britain as well as other rich people from EU countries for haven. Do not do it mes enemies. Ah, we do not like rich people any way!”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!