Grim Up North: Man Can’t Get to Doctor For Incurable Gonorrhoea Treatment Because of Floods

SCUNTHORPE - England - A man wishing to get treatment for his incurable gonorrhoea is stuck because of the mass floods up North.

National Health Statistics this week revealed that large swathes of Northern England are infected with an incurable strain of Gonorrhoea, what with the mass floods, this adds up to another grim week up North.

“We rarely see the sun up here. I’ve got incurable Gonorrhoea and my house got flooded ruining everything,” Gerald Trent, 34, from Leeds told the BBC.

Mr. Trent who is married with seven children is unemployed and wanted to get to the nearest sexual health clinic for treatment but that’s been shot due to half of Yorkshire and the North being under seven feet of water.

One of his neighbours was livid.

“If ‘e’s gorra case o’ fookin incurable super-gonorrhoea ‘e don’t need to get ta doctor. It’s fookin’ incurable innit. Just wrap up yer ol’ meat and two veg in a plastic bag or summat.”

Anyways, it’s fucking grim up North, but everyone knows that already.

 

Help Support Independent Publishers

PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: uk

Recent Posts

Celebrity Couple ‘ARE dating’ and ‘have been together for ‘over a year’

HOLLYWOOD - USA - A celebrity couple are dating and have been together for over…

5 hours ago

Commissar Reeves Announces Great News About the Shrinking UK Economy

SCUNTHORPE - England - The shrinking UK economy thanks to Commissar Reeves is now lower…

9 hours ago

Experts: The Globe is Entering a New Trump Renaissance

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - According to experts at a prominent think tank, the globe…

10 hours ago

Trump: “Don’t call me a flip-flopper. I don’t wear flip-flops!”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The Donald has denied he is a flip-flopper or wears…

12 hours ago

Comrade Starmer Appoints New Big State Tsar to Fix Big State

GRIMSBY - England - Comrade Starmer has appointed a new Big State tsar to fix…

17 hours ago

Why Illegal Immigrants and Asylum Seekers From Third World Are Mainly Men

DOVER - England - Why are the majority of illegal immigrants and asylum seekers single…

1 day ago

This website uses cookies.