17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldComrade Brown Economic Success Hailed by IMF

Comrade Brown Economic Success Hailed by IMF

LONDON - England - British Soviet Supreme Unelected Commander in Chief, Comrade Gordon Brown, has been hailed by the IMF for his stellar work in bringing forth the New Era of Change and economic Soviet Collectivized Miracle.

Under a blood red sky that seems to signal the Soviet spirit that has gripped our wonderful state under the all-seeing eye of Comrade Brown for the last ten years, there is an assembly of Soviet monetary officials who have travelled from the IMF head office to congratulate Comrade Brown for the Soviet economic miracle he has brought into fruition.

“Unelected leader of the Soviet Britons, Comrade Brown, is a visionary who has put forth his clunking iron fist of supreme control and swept away the reigns of prosperity from amongst the masses. He has taken control of the world by the use of economic ‘silent weapons’ in a form of ‘quiet warfare’, and reduced the economic inductance of the world to a safe level by a process of benevolent slavery and soon to be genocide by releasing new strains of H1N1. Yes, comrades, we have been good at controlling the media, subverting education, and keeping the public distracted with matters of no real importance. The public who have been fooled into believing that government is working for them must never catch on to the real purpose of our New Age of Change, they must never realise until it is too late that they will be stripped of all ownership, property and ultimately life,” Onslow McNamara, a senior IMF agent said as he addressed the assembled officials.

Another senior IMF official had this to say about the issue: “The general public refuses to improve its own mentality and its faith in its fellow man. It has become a herd of proliferating barbarians, and, so’ to speak, a blight upon the fate of the earth. They do not care enough about economic science to learn why they have not been able to avoid war despite religious morality, and their religious or self-gratifying refusal to deal with earthly problems renders the solution of the earthly problem unreachable by them. It is left to those few who are truly willing to think and survive as the fittest to survive, to solve the problem for themselves as the few who really care. Otherwise, exposure of the silent weapon would destroy our only hope of preserving the seed of future true humanity. Comrade Brown has brought forth the ‘Economic shock’ tactics as well as the ‘Greening’ issue which has also been adopted by the ‘chosen one’ in America.”

Comrade Brown then appeared from a big black door behind the podium. He approached the podium with gusto and a morbid grimace: “Comrades, I thank our brothers from the IMF who have seen fit to honour my ‘shock testing’ on the general public. One must realise the importance of this approach in dealing with the proles. The proles might instinctively feel that something is wrong, but because of the technical nature of the silent weapon, they cannot express their feeling in a rational way, or handle the problem with intelligence. Therefore, they do not know how to cry for help, and do not know how to associate with others to defend themselves against it. With our silent weapon, which is applied gradually to the public, the public adjusts/adapts to its presence and learns to tolerate its encroachment on their lives until the pressure (psychological via economic) becomes too great and they crack up. We can see that this is already happening. My control system is the final solution which I have been able to implement after many years of effort. In essence, it is the final solution to all of our problems.”

Comrade Brown was on hand to offer the IMF dignitaries some cabbage delights after the meeting.

Further British Soviet News

Good news comrades. Comrade Brown and local Stasi agents are announcing an increase in listening devices and CCTV surveillance in all sectors starting from tomorrow. Remember that this is for your own protection.

More good news comrades. As of tomorrow, local food monitor officers will enter every household to educate the occupants on how to dispose of food waste properly, how to use state issued eco-bulbs correctly and the correct procedure for conserving energy. Anyone who refuses forced entry into their dwelling will be immediately arrested and detained in an eco-re-education camp for the next forty two years.

Notice: B69761 INGSOCK Long Live the Gord


  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

7 COMMENTS

  1. Labour is carrying out a scorched earth operation because they know they have no chance of winning the next election. After that unelected one0eyed scottish twat shoehorned himself into the job things went from bad to worse. This country will suffer for generations to come thanks to Gordon and his cronies.

  2. it was fairly obvious from when the jug-eared twat handed in his notice that we’d all soon be in the brown with gordon. And while i’m at it….FCUK EU gordon!!!!! Your policies along with the rest of your hands in the till scumbags have cost me my job and fucked the value of my pensions. Go and live in Afghanistan NOW!!

  3. Well, should it be considered as good judgement ?

    Anybody heard about Haiti, newspapers reported that the people there are now eating edible clay !

    So no mass migrations to the Land of Opportunities with those billions amassed yet ?

  4. Brown is out to destroy England as much as he can. He sold all our gold reserves off at the bottom of th e market. There is proof right there…all his decisins have ended in disaster and now he’s put us in the shit where we will be paying for it for generations to come. There is no end to the carnage created by this idiot and I hope all the people who have been caught up in this hell will somehow get out with something intact..theres going to be mass riots and the powers that control everything want this to happen so that they can control us better. Get out of the cities because they will be used as holding pens, go to the countryside or move out to other countries where they do not have

  5. The elite and very rich are ready to ride this one out. It’s just a case of whittling down the chaff a little bit…or as I suspect quite a lot.

    The riots and discontent have all been factored in. This will go on for the next 20-30 years or however lonfg it takes to kill off the old slaves who are not needed anymore.

    The workers are now defunct and no use to the elite. Technology and science will ensure that efficiency is

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!