Up Your Dardanelles: Let the Russians Use the Straits of Gibraltar

ÇANNAKALE - Turkey - Mad Vlad is fuming today as his Ras-Putin fleet are left stranded in the Black Sea.

Those dastardly Turks have closed off the Dardanelles and Bosporus Strait leaving many ships stranded in the Mediterranean and Black Sea. Naturally this news is not being mentioned yet in the media.

Turkey is of huge strategic importance in any conflict and closing off this corridor makes things a lot harder for the Russkies. What’s Putin going to do, transfer his war ships from the Straits of Gibraltar?

Putin is escalating the conflict each day with his furious backlash against the Turks who shot down one of his military jets, an SU-24, last week when it ventured into Turkish airspace for a mere 17 seconds.

The Turks invariably wanted to punish the Russians, not only for repeated violations of their air space but also the indiscriminate bombing of protected Turkman tribesman in Northern Syria as well as destruction of convoys within the war torn country that deliver vital supplies of food for oil for the people of Syria who are being indiscriminately bombed by the Russians.

“It’s basically a tit for tat response. You do this, we’ll do that sort of thing. In diplomatic circles it’s called PFFW (Prepare For Fucking War!),” Donald Montague, a source on the ground revealed yesterday.

As for the Montreux Convention which allows the Turks to close the Bosphorus Straits during a time of war, this convention still stands today. The convention was amended in 1982 to allow the Turks to close the Straits in peacetime as well as war, so looks like the Russians will now have a round trip from St Petersburg, all the way around Northern Europe through the Baltic Sea, through the North Sea, past France and Spain finally entering the Mediterranean through the Straits of Gibraltar. The Russians could use the Caspian Sea which borders Russia and Iran but this would mean they would have to go over land through Iran and Iraq to get to Syria.

One thing is certain, Uncle Vlad is not fucking happy.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

2 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.