17.7 C
London
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldThe Amazing 60 Minute Haringey Council Meeting That Sealed Baby P's Fate

The Amazing 60 Minute Haringey Council Meeting That Sealed Baby P’s Fate

LONDON - England - Haringey Council spent an astounding 60 minutes of their precious time debating what name to give a crucial meeting designated to decide whether Baby P would stay with his violently abusive psychotic family.

The Daily Squib has learned that a crucial meeting designed to determine whether Baby P was to remain in his mother’s care was hampered from the start when Haringey Council social service managers spent 45 minutes trying to decide what name to call their meeting and an additional 15 minutes debating where they should go drinking at afterwards.

After 15 months of paperwork dedicated to the case of Baby P piled up on Haringey’s Director of Children and Young People’s Services desk, Sharon Shoesmith finally decided that it was time to call a meeting. Shoesmith was worried that her £100,000 a year job may come to an
end should Baby P die and this was beginning to frighten her.

Photographs of Baby P were littered in files on Sharon Shoesmith’s desk documenting injuries that included fingernails pulled off with pliers, broken ribs, a broken back, missing teeth and various bruises.

Social worker Maria Ward had assured her managers that Baby P “was just accident prone” and that Tr*cey Co**elly’s Nazi sadist boyfriend St*ven B*rker was “a jolly good chap” who had kindly taken his criminal brother into their household as authorities were after him.

“They spare no expense when it comes to splashing out on Baby P,” Maria Ward had stated in records. “Why, the last time I saw the cute little mite he was covered from head to toe in chocolate. If anything, I would say that Baby P is spoiled rotten.”

“On some visits to Baby P’s house I have noticed that he is wearing 5 layers of tight clothing which sometimes makes him gasp for air. But it is clear to me that Baby P’s mother just enjoys lavishing money on him and dressing him in the finest chav clothes available.”

Once the meeting to decide Baby P’s fate was called, Sharon Shoesmith insisted that a name must be given for it so she could send memos around afterwards.

Instead of looking at the 47 folders detailing the life of Baby P at the hands of his torturers, our Daily Squib informant was shocked to discover that key social service workers and managers sat at the meeting trying to decide what they should call it.

“Let’s call it The Baby P Meeting,” one social worker said.

“No, that’s too bloody obvious, innit,” a manager said.

Tempers flared and arguments resounded across the room as name after name was called out.

Once a name was finally given to the meeting 45 minutes later, one of the managers said they were so stressed out with having to come up with a name that they needed to head down to the pub soon.

After the word pub was mentioned, social workers and managers took a vote to decide where they should eat after the meeting.

Our informant said, “I’m sorry to say that as soon as everyone heard the word pub mentioned that was the end of the meeting. There was a vote that lasted 15 minutes to decide which pub they should go drinking at and by the time they were finished with that the 60 minutes was up and the meeting was adjourned without ever having once discussed the details of Baby P’s life.”

“If that isn’t an indictment on Haringey Council, I don’t know what is.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

13 COMMENTS

  1. So not only did they want to allow Baby Ps incubator to keep another vunerable child, they completeley failed that poor poor child. haringey social services are a disgrace to the good social workers out there that wouldnt have let this happen. they all need the sack and Shoesmith should hang her head in shame not sue for 2.5 mil.

  2. I hope all of these people have been fired and cannot ever find employment in this field. They will have to answer to God for their lack of actions. Hopefully it will be a swift punishment for all of them. The only good thing is that poor, beautiful, innocent baby is no longer tortured, but in a wonderful place where he knows unending love and kindness.

  3. People like this should be well and truly struck off for life and never be given a second chance to do this again. It seems that that they are no better than the abusers them-self’s. People who do this have no heart neither any sense, they must of been neglected them self’s in their life so for baby p to suffer in this way made up for their neglect which is very sad. Her job and money were more important, I wonder if they have any children and when they look at them what and who do they see. I think some-one should publish a book on baby p and all money go to charity.

  4. Haringey are perverted, yes the staff seeme4d to enjoy baby Peter getting beaten up….food AND THE PUB WAS MORE IMPORTANT……
    I HATE THEM ALL as an immigrant I am sickened and revolted by the british systems…..no law and order…the police wwere useless hewre as well…the cps well they are brain dead………may they all rot in hell

  5. i happen to have a son just the same age as this poor little baby that died in the hands of dumb fucking child abusers….if anybody was to harm my son at all i would kill them myself….now 4 the people that could have saved his life and sent him to his dad who wanted to save him they need to lose their jobs….all of them….talking about what they r going to eat and drink when a childs life is on their hands what the fuck are u people thinking??? if i could only talk to them in person….i would so give them a piece of my mind…i maybe a young mother but i love my kids to death…they r my life….i practically do everything 4 them and no mother should cover up abuse…never

  6. What professionals we have charged with governing the safety of our future !!How c an any child feel safe in this country??? What i want to know is these bastards gonna be charged also, because as far as i am concerned they are as guilty of killing this poor innocent child and many others.
    To sit back and discuss where they are going for a drink send them to saudi let them get there punishment there. Also i didnt realise that such inadequate stupid people could buy there degrees from the mickey mouse club. As far as i am concerned the government have a bunch of monkeys running what should be no1 priority status group dont they realise children of today are tomorrows future?

  7. The Government must sack these fools!!!!

    The British public cant let this go – criminal negelect!!!!
    Idiots

  8. How anyone could let this happen to a child, is beyond me!! There are people out ther, crying out to adopt children and bring them into a loving home and then someone goes and does this!! The council of Haringey should be shot!

  9. poor little mite never stood a chance with these so called social workers, they all have death on their hands. They should all deffinately go.

  10. Sounds about right!!!!

    Heads should roll for this!!!!

    There’ll be plenty of time to go to the pub when they’re on the dole!!!!

    But that’ll never happen will it?????

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!