17.7 C
London
Saturday, December 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGordon Brown's Ten Year Plan Will Go Ahead

Gordon Brown’s Ten Year Plan Will Go Ahead

LONDON - England - Supreme unelected leader of the Soviet British People's Party, Comrade Brown, will continue with the New Era of Change and 10 Year Plan despite a rebellion in Sector 101 (Northern Britain).

ai

Speaking from his modest dacha in Southwold, the unelected leader did not even flinch when he was told the grave news of a rebellion in the Labour state’s heartland of Glasgow East which is firmly ensconced within Sector 101.

Iron Fist of Sovietization

“Despite the democratic disease creeping into my 10 year plan for the total integration of all citizens within the eco-state, the collectivisation of all farmers, the increasing of even more taxation and the reduction of all living standards for all Soviet Britons, we shall not falter. I have despatched Commissar Ed Balls to Sector 101 where he will be assigned to re-educate the traitors who erred from the true path of totalitarian eco-rule. I am listening to what the people are saying, this is why I have ordered more listening devices and CCTV surveillance cameras. I will listen to your opinions, then I will discard them as always because I am your supreme unelected leader and have complete control over every facet of every plebes life. I’m getting on with the job. My task is getting on with the job of integrating more taxation and more surveillance in the Soviet Era of Change. It’s exactly what I want to do. And, rest assured I will do it!”

Under unelected leader Comrade Brown’s outstanding leadership, the Soviet State is currently benefiting from a high standard of living. Citizens and party workers can now enjoy an extra ration of porridge every week and an extra teaspoon of sugar once a month.

Comrade Brown will reward proles with a further increase in taxation for all goods and services next week as a special thank you for not electing the unelected leader who is in supreme control over everything.

We have news that some listening devices suffered breakdowns in Sector 34 – 36 last night so all citizens in that area are urged to look out for any dissent or speech crimes against Comrade Brown and report these vile crimes to your nearest Stasi official.

A commendation must be made to 12 year old Herbert Allinson who reported his own mother as a thought criminal in Sector 43 last night. The boy’s mother has been sent to an eco camp to be re-educated for 42 years.

Remember comrades, be vigilant and listen out for traitors, they are everywhere.


Notice: B64225 INGSOCK Long Live the Gordo!

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

3 COMMENTS

  1. No one will vote for Labour ever again. Brown has destroyed their party completely.

  2. Britain now faces another two years of this lame-duck idiot out to punish us all. This is very bad for Britain. God help us all.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!