Our
supreme unelected leader and comrade who has brought our nation back
from the brink of disaster from the spoils of that pusillanimous
traitor Comrade Blair, today announced a further 2p rise award on fuel
tax.
The supreme unelected comrade has so far awarded proles a
wonderful 20p increase in fuel tax for 2007 alone. Fuel prices are now
at £1.29 per litre.
Since Labour has come into power, fuel tax has risen by 59 pence.
Of the £1 paid for every litre of fuel, 71.5p
is tax. A total of 24p goes to the oil producer, 2.5p to the retailer
and 1p to the supplier.
“You can shit in an Englishman’s soup
and he would lap it up without any questions. They are a very pliable
people who take things that other nationalities would balk at. We keep raising fuel taxes year on year and they take it lying down. It’s as if they enjoy being punished for being slave-like cash cows,” said a
senior member of the Information Ministry, proudly extolling the announcement of yet more taxes.
The
general population greeted the further increase in petrol prices with
applause and cheers for our supreme leader comrade Brown, who announced
the tax hike from his dacha deep in the mountains of Sector 101
(Northern Britain).
Stasi
officials at Whitehall say that the increase in tax award is a necessary process so as to increase state funds after the many Labour schemes over the last ten years which have gone disastrously wrong.
With the heavy worldwide increase of oil prices per barrel reaching $139, the UK is now the most expensive country in the world to fill up your car because of the massive fuel taxes the government has seen fit to add.
Perpetrators of any dissent will be punished
Like good citizens in the United Soviet Nation of Britain there has been no sign of any dissent amongst any of the non-party officials who do not have state expense accounts. However, in case of the unlikely event of any dissent ever arising we have released tips on what party members can do.
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I am happy to pay any fuel tax increase with a big smile on my face. I
will never ask any questions or show dissent for the huge tax increases.  Mr Parsons
Sector 234 East Glamorgan  Tips on how you can report dissenters of huge fuel tax hikes |
The Politburo office in Whitehall is issuing guidelines on how to spot any dissenters of Comrade Brown’s fuel tax hikes:
- Citizens who curse our leader at petrol stations will be arrested.
- Anyone
who blocks the fuel lane whilst staring at the fuel price in disbelief
will be arrested immediately for delaying fuel revenue collection.
- Thought-crime of any kind relating to huge fuel tax rises will be severely punished.
- Hoarding of fuel will be punishable with death or a 40 year working holiday in a Labour eco-gulag.
News of an all expenses trip to Beijing
Comrades and senior party officials, we are delighted in being invited to the upcoming Beijing Olympics where we will all enjoy an all-expenses paid trip.
It is to the credit of the masses who pay such high fuel taxes that we are able to benefit from their hard work.
The Beijing Olympic trip will only cost a mere £500,000 per Labour delegate, although we should be prepared if Comrade Prescott attends as his share of tax-expenses will exceed £2.7 million for the food bill alone on the two week trip.
High ranking Stasi officials can also claim for an increase in expenses because of the massive windfall from increased fuel taxes as of next week.
Notice: B64584 INGSOCK Long Live the Gordo!
