Comrade Brown Reassures Party Faithful After Failed Coup Attempt

LONDON - England - Supreme unelected leader, Comrade Gordon Brown has quashed a coup attempt to topple his Soviet State of Britain.

An attempted coup was thwarted on Friday by our supreme commander in chief.

Bolshevik troops successfully brought under control a possible revolution attempt by prole workers, democratic capitalist scum, Bullingdonian Old Etonians and even some traitorous Soviet Labour party members who have betrayed our great leader Comrade Brown and our almighty Soviet British state.

Commissar for School Re-Education Centres, Comrade Ed Balls was instructed by our great leader to conduct an increased re-reducation program for proles who had been seduced by the fickle vices of democracy and capitalism.

Over the next two year plan of the Comrade Brown Vision of Change, proles and party workers who have strayed from the visions course will be forcibly re-educated in special eco-camps in sector 101 Northern Soviet England.

Comrade Gordon Brown is going to enjoy the next two years of his tenure as Supreme Unelected Leader after quashing the attempted ousting of his supreme leadership.

“Comrades, you can count on my great leadership for the next two years where I will introduce even more hefty taxes than I am already doing now. Workers and proles of the one party state will shoulder even more of the tax burden which I have specifically created for their benefit. Our Soviet British Nation is a model for all other world nations to follow. These world nations look at our huge tax system and can only dream of being able to tax their citizens as much as we do without creating full scale riots and complete national unrest. British Soviet Proles however, are the most agreeable of all and accept all indignities without question or reason. Thank you workers for making such a sacrifice to the Labour single-party system.”

There have been murmurs of some senior Soviet Labour party members who are plotting further coup attempts.

“We will root out any dissent against our supreme unelected leader’s rule. If you are found to be a thought-criminal against our great leader or harbouring any ill will against our comrade Gordon Brown, you will be re-educated then reintegrated within the state worker ranks forthwith. I have also been ordered by our leader to introduce further measures to halt anymore possible dissent by installing further listening devices and cameras effective immidiately,” Commissar Ed Balls announced on the state news channel on Friday.

Council Stasi officers have also been mobilised to report more traitors and have even been given powers to enter peoples homes without any warrants.

Comrade Brown rewarded the proles who did not rebel against his almighty rule by increasing taxes further on everything from food, roads, councils, bins, fuel and beer.

As of Monday there will be a further increase in CCTV cameras in all sectors across Soviet Britain Central British Politburo officials announced on Saturday.

Thank you for voting Labour INGSOCK Notice: B32454

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Gaia-X Summit 2024 Concludes with New Milestones and Global Collaboration

HELSINKI - Finland - The 5th Gaia-X Summit has concluded. The event showcased multiple Gaia-X…

18 hours ago

Gaia-X: Data is the Future and the Europeans Are Harnessing Its Power

HELSINKI - Finland - The editor was kindly invited to the Gaia-X 2024 conference. Big…

19 hours ago

Easy Payday: Tyson Needed the $20 Million Retirement Money

TEXAS - USA - The manufactured Mike Tyson fight against a YouTuber was a retirement…

2 days ago

Biden Admits to Reporter He Voted For Trump

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Joe Biden has admitted to a reporter that he voted…

2 days ago

“People’s Soviet Republic of Britain” Detains Journalist Attempting Crime of “Free Speech”

LONDON - England - We can proudly announce that an attempt at "free speech" was…

3 days ago

Commissar Rachel Reeves Praises Her Role in Ruining UK Economy

SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves of the People's Soviet Labour Party of Britain…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.