Lord Goldsmith Calls for ‘Britishness’ Day and Oaths to the EU

A new public holiday should be introduced to celebrate Britishness, a review commissioned by unelected controller in chief Gordon “Velcro” Brown.

The report by former Blair-ite war criminal and sycophant Lord Goldsmith outlines the many values that Britishness conveys to the rest of the world.

“We as a nation should be proud of the daily thug violence, no police, high taxes, expensive cost of living, low quality of life, chronic overcrowding, pollution, crumbling transport infrastructure, chavs, hoodies, poor education and criminally abandoned hospitals and prisons. We should be proud of paying 80% on fuel duty which makes the UK one of the highest fuel tax countries in the world. We should be proud of governmental incompetence on a grand scale. A land bereft of hope where our supreme unelected leader Gordon Brown makes all decisions for us and bypasses any democratic process. A land where the cost of living is rising every second, where the mortgage hell of living in this overpriced cesspit overflowing with big brother surveillance cameras and traffic revenue generators stinks to highest heaven.

The peer said Britain epitomises the term “toilet country” and it was his job to bring in more fecal pride and “Britishness”.

Lord Goldsmith – who was commissioned by the unelected Prime Minister to look at the issue of British citizenship – also proposed changes to the current categories of citizenship, which he says will “promote the meaning and significance of citizenship within modern Britain”.

His recommendations also aim to encourage wider participation in “re-education” services which will program citizens further.

Lord Goldsmith’s chief brainwashing proposals include:

•  A new British national day, to coincide with the Labour Olympics and the European Union in 2012
•  Ceremonies in which schoolchildren swear oaths of allegiance to EU directives and governing allegiance of Brussels
•  Cutting out the national anthem and replacing it with the EU anthem
•  A major overhaul of “archaic” British laws to make room for the all inclusive EU directives
•  Language loans for people who cannot afford Polish lessons

Lord Goldsmith wants the national day to be a similar celebration to Australia Day, Bastille Day in France, the July 4 celebrations in the United States were considered “too backward”.

Mr Brown is understood to be keen for a new public holiday but, unlike Lord Goldsmith, favours focusing on the country’s good points – like football hooliganism, being glassed in a pub on a Friday night, drunk and drugged up 9 year olds happy slapping commuters, under age pregnancy and abortions, alcopops and benefits cheats playing playstations whilst wacked out on skunk on a Monday morning.

A petition on the Downing Street website for a holiday to mark the contribution of hoodies, chavs, thugs and crazed Eastern European sex trafficking gangs has attracted more than 500,000 supporters.

Lord Goldsmith says in his report: “A national day would also provide the ideal setting for a special Violent Offenders Honours List, which focuses exclusively on the achievements of thugs who maim and torture ordinary citizens every day of their lives.”

This would be “the catalyst for a positive and celebratory new image of thuggery and Britishness.”

Despite previously criticising the words of the National Anthem for not being inclusive enough, Lord Goldsmith does not propose changing it to Polish and Lithuanian yet.

Ed Balls, who drives a £200,000 Socialist Bentley Arnage and is the right hand man of unelected PM Gordon Brown, spoke of his wish for a tax on “Britishness” so that “the people that pay for my vast Socialist riches can truly value their British pride”.

Since becoming unelected Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has been keen to push a Britishness agenda after signing away all laws to Brussels and refusing an EU referendum or any democratic discussion on the matter.

The review follows the Call Yourself British campaign by The Peoples Daily Telegraph which is now under the control of supreme unelected leader Brown and his agents.

Currently in Britain, British people have almost 450 taxes and 289 ‘stealth taxes’ on each person and the supreme unelected Prime Minister proposes a further tax on Britishness to show how patriotic citizens really are.

“We will tax you for Britishness and you will obey and be taxed for the honour and privilege.”

Those who show that they are “active citizens” could be nominated to join a “Citizens Corps” which would be viewed favourably by employers.

“If you are honoured comrades..ahem..I mean citizens, you will be honoured with a citizen trophy depicting a hoody urinating on an OAP who was just violently beaten up,” unelected Prime Minister Gordon Brown told the Daily Squib.