Bush Running for Third Term

NEW HAMPSHIRE - USA - George W Bush the Supreme Commander in Chief of the United States is running for a third term in office. He was spotted campaigning amongst the other candidates at the New Hampshire Caucus.

Someone needs to tell George W Bush that he cannot run for a third term in office but no one has the gumption to break the news to the ailing alcoholic President.

They call him ‘Dubya Gump’ and his actions throughout his double term in office have proved his friends right.

“When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle,” George tells the cheering crowd with an excited look on his face.

Dubya Gump comes out with some more wonderful quotations and the reporters all eat it up, “When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went.”

“The best thing about being the President is the food! Now, since it
was all free, and I wasn’t hungry but thirsty, I must’ve drank me
fifteen Dr. Peppers.”

A fellow candidate had this to say about George W Bush: “That kid may be the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen, but damn he can run!”

No one in Bush’s office has the heart to tell the President that his days of lame-duck Presidency will soon be over and he will have to retire.

“He was deluded on Iraq, he was deluded on Iran, he was deluded on Afghanistan and pretty much everything he’s ever done. We just nod to him and tell him what he wants to hear. He wants to run for a third term? Let him do it. Why try arguing with an idiot?” A senior Pentagon aide told the Squib from the primary Caucus.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Sleazy Labour Liars Prove Election Promises Do Not Mean Anything in UK

LONDON - England - The sleazy Labour liars who said anything to get elected have…

7 hours ago

Brexit Never Happened Anyway – Labour EU Union Was Inevitable

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Keir Starmer is leading the way for an EU union, but…

1 day ago

“Comrades, Labour is Banning Democracy by Banning Local Elections”

GRIMSBY - England - The Labour Party has banned democracy in Soviet Britain by banning…

1 day ago

The UK is a Davos ‘Great Reset’ Experiment Under Starmer’s Labour

LONDON - England - Europe is too big to test the Great Reset, so this…

2 days ago

Mad Ed Miliband Demonstrates the New Solar Panel Hat Every Briton Will Wear

SCUNTHORPE - England - The Labour Energy Minister Ed Miliband today demonstrated the Net Zero…

3 days ago

Why Netanyahu is Not Stopping

TEL AVIV - Israel - Why is Benjamin Netanyahu, the Israeli leader, not stopping the…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.