The news of the whole Labour Government being lost in the cold icy terrain of Iowa has come as a welcome piece of news for the British people and the world.
Today, across the whole of Britain there were street parties from Land’s End to John O’Groats at the wonderful news.
Buckingham Palace flew the flag at full mast and the Queen appeared at the Palace balcony to wave to the thousands of cheering revellers.
No one knows why the Labour Government was in Iowa but no one cares either.
The American President, George W Bush, did not actually know where Iowa was in the USA when asked on Fox News this morning. He was then asked whether there would be a search party sent to the region. The ailing lame-duck President was distracted by a piece of lint on his jacket catching his eye and was not able to answer coherently.
The wilds of Iowa are very inauspicious at this time of year and can reach lows of -20 c.
Ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his cabinet are probably either bear food or frozen blocks of ice by now.
When I wrote and performed Stranded in Iowa, I can now reveal that this was intended as a prophecy that the entire Labour Government would disappear in the United State of Iowa. Of course, this happened after Gordon Brown became PM, so the damage was minimal. We tried to get Cherie Blair to join the missing entourage, but she was too busy channelling Barbra Streisand to follow along with the Brown party, so she is, unfortunately, still with us.
Quel dommage.