Tories Bottling Own Urine For Election Day

MILTON KEYNES - England - David Cameron is not the only bottler in the Conservative party, he was joined early on today at a factory in an industrial estate on the outskirts of town by George Osborne to fill some bottles with their own urine.

 

“This is not just ordinary urine, it’s Tory urine and it packs a punch. Drink this and you’ll forget you lost the election. That’s why we’re bottling tonnes of the stuff to give the Tory party faithful after the election results come through,” the PM said whilst filling his thirtieth bottle.

George Osborne, managed to fill over a hundred bottles before he took a well earned rest by drinking a bottle or two.

“You’ve got to replenish. My bottles have a certain zing to them, the flavour of Tory, a bouquet of corrupt diligence, Bullingdon buggery and Etonian cronyism,” the chancellor told the BBC crew before downing another stinking bottle himself and burping loudly.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

UK Businesses Speeding Up AI Integration and Firing Staff

LONDON - England - UK businesses are speeding up the proliferation of artificial intelligence, with…

2 hours ago

URGENT ORDER: “Business in Soviet Britain Forbidden From Making Profits”

LONDON - England - Comrade Reeves today stormed the CBI to make a speech about…

9 hours ago

“Who’s Going to Pay For Your Socialism?” Taxed to Death Business Halts New Staff Hires

LONDON - England - With the UK economy tanking, three out of four businesses are…

13 hours ago

ANALYSTS: Putin Does Not Need to Attack the UK – Labour Are Doing it Already

MOSCOW - Russia - A group of defence analysts revealed that Putin does not need…

1 day ago

How to Request an OFAC Delisting: What You Should Know

LONDON - England - Do not fear if you are placed on the OFAC sanctions…

3 days ago

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.