Contact Lens Search at Berkeley Petrol Station Gets Out of Hand

BERKELEY - USA - Dwight S. Shabanaker, 34, lost a contact lens at a St. Louis gas station on Tuesday night and called in state troopers from three counties to search for the damn thing.

“I was driving for Christmas eve, and I stopped at the Berkeley gas station. I’m going to Huntsville which is 65 miles away. That’s when the lens popped out and I was already late. I called in the fire department, state troopers and even my uncle Larry who lives three blocks away from the gas station,” Mr. Shabanaker told Fox7 news reporters on the scene.

The ensuing mayhem that greeted gas station attendant Joe Donluca, was astounding.

“I seen everything doing this job, but having three police forces, a fire department and other helpers looking for one contact lens on the floor really took me by surprise. Folks were stepping on heads, hands, bumping each other, one cop even fell over and let off a massive firework.”

All’s well that ends well. After only six hours of searching, the contact lens was discovered. It was a quick dust off and pop back in the eye situation before Mr. Shabanaker got on his way and completed his Christmas journey.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"