17.7 C
London
Monday, December 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPeculiar Analyst: "Sometimes You Have to Treat Dogs Like Dogs"

Peculiar Analyst: “Sometimes You Have to Treat Dogs Like Dogs”

LONDON - England - People who go above their station, a particular problem in the modern age, as prescribed by a certain eloquent gentleman ensconced in front of the fire, his feet warmed as he toots on a pipe and sips from a half empty/full glass.

ai

 

“Hi, I’m the peculiar analyst, been around for awhile, let’s just put it down to a few millennia. You know, one little thing I have noticed about today is no one knows their place any more. If everyone thinks they’re kings and queens with a voice, then all we have is useless chatter, to me it’s all meaningless and counter-productive, to put it lightly.

“Let’s look at the despots who were placed into position in the Middle East many years ago. Well, they were removed rather unceremoniously by the global boys and look at what we have now. It’s not very nice, what with all that war, Isis and such, but the dictators of the past kept the peace. Arabs need to have strong dictatorial leaders otherwise their beastly nature comes through.

“The same applies to our neck of the woods. Granted, the days of Downtown are gone, however this global stuff is rather irksome. Mixing all these people in a big bucket is injurious, not only for the people being mixed up but for the people mixing it up.

“Riots I hear you say? Naturally, there will be many, because rats do get rather agitated when they’re stuck in a cage piled on each other. More abortions would do the trick, give us all a rest from these cockroaches and rats piled on top of each other. How about a bit of Ebola or a Ferguson riot or twenty? Some people need to be told what to do all the time, they can’t function without it. Certainly, slavery is a necessary evil and hopefully one day we may move from covert back to overt.

“Oh everybody’s got a voice now. How endearing that is, because in my opinion, if everyone has a voice, then the music stops. It’s a classless system engineered where voices and opinions are not created by the hit makers but by the mass of people. There lies the difference, there is no quality control, it’s messy and to tell you the truth smells a bit but it keeps the hordes busy with entertainment. Their voice is their own prison, their own hell.

“You know, I long for the day when people quieten down a bit, a little more introspection would be nice. Where the troglodytes don’t have to vomit out every inane thought they have or take pictures of their tea posting it on twatter. I detest social media, it is a machine that was designed solely to fool people into thinking they had a voice, but we all know the truth now, it is simply an early warning system for the boys up top. There are no pubs any more to have a good listen, to see what the common man is thinking..or plotting.

“Anyway, until next time, fuck off you plebs and leave me to drink my glass filled with thoughts of utopia.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!