17.7 C
London
Tuesday, November 5, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsRooney Gets Job at British Museum

Rooney Gets Job at British Museum

LONDON - England - Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney has been given a job at the British Museum after saying he wants to leave his cup winning club.

“We are pleased to announce that Wayne has been given a permanent position at the British Museum. We are thankful for his participation and hope to have a long lasting employer’s relationship with him,” head of the Neolithic collection, Jasper Lampater, revealed today.

According to the press release, Rooney will be part of the caveman exhibit and will be required to just stand there for hours on end, sometimes grunting or dragging his knuckles on the exhibit’s fake rock formations.

Caroline Massey, a regular visitor to the British Museum said: “Golly! This sounds fantastic. Can’t wait to see him headbutt a Japanese tourist who gets too close or lift his leg to pee on a fake tree. I’ve heard that Colleen will join him on certain days, but don’t know where she’ll put all the shopping bags of designer clothes?”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!