17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsKiwis: "Sorry No New Zealand Lamb For England"

Kiwis: “Sorry No New Zealand Lamb For England”

LONDON - England - The Kiwi Trade Minister, who attended the cricket world cup final between England and New Zealand on Sunday is outraged at the result and is vowing a blockade on lamb chops.

After winning the cricket World Cup in spectacular fashion, the upset Kiwis are now talking about a New Zealand lamb embargo.

New Zealand Trade Minister, Robert Ewe, called for a comprehensive embargo on all trade including the famously delicious New Zealand lamb which people in Britain love to slap on their plates for dinner.

“When England beat New Zealand to win the men’s cricket World Cup for the first time after being tied twice, I practically swallowed a possum and had to slap my self awake with a Chevron Skink! England will not be eating our New Zealand lamb chops for a long time. This is an outrage! What next? The rugger?”

In an emotional and electric atmosphere at Lord’s, both sides scored 241 in their 50 overs and were level on 15 when they batted for an extra over apiece.

The tied result meant England were crowned world champions by virtue of having scored more boundary fours and sixes – 26 to New Zealand’s 17 – in the entire match.

All across New Zealand, lambs were heard sighing in relief at the news that there would be an embargo for England.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!