17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsArsenal – Dare to Dream of November

Arsenal – Dare to Dream of November

LONDON - England - August has arrived but more importantly the Premier League is back and Arsenal supporters can dare to dream after an opening night win against Leicester.

ai

But, if the past as told us anything the gunners will be wrapping-up their season by November.

As Charlie Eccelshare, writing for the Daily Telegraph says “As the clocks go backwards at
the end of October each year, so invariably do Arsenal.”

But why? When historically their best months are September and October, do the gunners
never seem to make it unscathed past that all important November?

Don’t run so fast, you might fall down

As October draws to a close, you can imagine the mums and grandmas of our favourite
football heroes sitting them down for a good talking to.

Think about last year’s’ injuries in November alone, including Oxlade-Chamberlain,
Wilshere, Ramsey, Rosicky, Walcott, Arteta and Ospina. This led to Per Mertesacker calling
the team “a bit knackered” after they struggled into a draw against Spurs. In the last 10
seasons, they have suffered no fewer than 80 – yes 80 November injuries. You can see why
their parents might be wishing they had joined the chess club at this point in time.

Don’t look directly at them

Let’s call a spade a spade, the other reason why November is a cursed month for those
Arsenal boys, is that they keep being put up against, er… better teams. Y’know, the ones
who seem to win the league every year. Whether it’s Chelsea, Man City or Man United,
Spurs or Liverpool, these all seem to come up in November, and they just can’t seem to
hack it.

FOOT2.0

In the last ten years, aside from the 2011 season, they have faced one of these teams in
November without exception. In 2011, their points per game hit a November high of 2.33, in comparison to their usual November average of 1.59.

With all this info at hand, it’s probably a bit worrying that this November sees them facing
Manchester United, Tottenham, and Manchester City. I certainly won’t be whipping out my phone and using my sky bet android app to bet against the odds.

It’s too late for 2017, but maybe they can request to go up against some really bad teams for November 2018, that should sort that darned curse out once and for all. “Hello, Sunderland? It’s Arsene Wenger here. Small favour to ask…”

2017 Season

But all jokes aside, the real question is, can Arsenal keep their head above water this
November to remain serious contenders for the Premier League? Or are they doomed to
keep repeating the same mistakes?

If Arsenal have any chance to do something different they have to keep Alexis Sanchez
happy but after missing the first game with Leicester with an abdominal strain, and the
rumours circling that he is not long with the team, it doesn’t look great. That, coupled with
the seasons low projections for them, estimating that they will do at best fourth, encourages fans to lose support from the get-go.

It’s going to be an uphill climb for our boys in red and white, and at this point, it would be a huge surprise if they managed to pull a brilliant November out of the bag. But hey, who
doesn’t love surprises?

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner
- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!